Южная Корея

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Хозяйка Судьбы
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Пост N: 9863 Откуда: Сеул

Отправлено: 02.11.09 19:33. Заголовок: моск кипит, знатоки, помогите! ( следующее задание)

We know that exercise and mental activity in animals generate and sustain more brain cells. Similarly, we have many studies confirming that humans who lead mentally active lives have better brain function. Therefore, the more education we have, the more socially and physically active we are. Overall, the more we participate in mentally stimulating activities, the less likely we are to get Alzheimer’s disease or dementia.
However, not all activities are equal in this regard. For instance, those that involve genuine concentration - for example studying a musical instrument, playing board games, reading, and dancing – are associated with a lower risk for dementia. On the other hand, less intense activities, such as bowling, babysitting, and golfing, are not associated with a reduced incidence of Alzheimer’s.

Проверьте, плиз, на предмет правильно ли все сликовано и нет ли ошибок

Урок 4
Sentence Structure, Style and Register

Боже, это что называется *научное письмо*. Должно быть написано в академическом стиле. Оно вообще состряпано каким-то индусами через переводчик, как мне кажется. Мне нужно так изощриться, чтобы оно стало конфеткой. У меня моск взрывается. Кому какие идеи в голову прихолдят, посоветуйте как эт о все исправить? Особенно последние два предложения.

The study was first thought up so as to make right a new method of asking by which genetic information could be used to tell before a disease happens. Our work goes against the saying of Hill (2001); yes it would seem to show the opposite f what he said. We see our work as giving a bit of a different view of the genetic factors which make diseases. Despite this, our work does not wipe out Hill's, as his studies served the very important purpose of making symbols to stand for certain patterns, in this way allowing further research. We hope that Hill will just the same find our work to be good and that when international researchers meet next April, they will agree that much worth lies in both our and Hill's studies. Our results are added at the end.

пока у меня полчается нечто такое (это то. что я так сказать правлю, но это. по-моему, тоже надо править):

The study was initially devised (conceived) to develop ( to improve) a new method of inquiry whereby genetic information could be used to predict diseases. Our work is to research different aspects of the disease-trigging genetic factors,therefore it might contradict the Hill's statements (2001).However, Hills study is not totally negated; we assume that symbols created to denote certain patterns are crucial for further research.

дальше вот эта фигня моск выносит, как я ее только не вертела..блин:

We hope that Hill will just the same find our work to be good and that when international researchers meet next April, they will agree that much worth lies in both our and Hill's studies.

последнее предложение вроде вот так:

The results of our study are appended.

Скрытый текст

Пример:

Look at the following example of a rambling sentence:

The recent typhoon caused big damage everywhere, so a lot of people had to get out of their houses, then people also had to start repairing houses, offices and shops, so things are getting better now

Now look at the improved version below:

The recent typhoon caused so much widespread damage that a large number of people had to be evacuated. Now however, repairs of buildings are underway; the situation is therefore improving.[/font

задание:

Improve the following two sentences.

1. The hurricane destroyed the crops and it blew away lots of houses, shools, etc and caused some deaths, so it caused a lot of chaos.

2.The doctors tried all night to save the man who had ben injured in a motor-bike accident, but they coldn't manage to save him, so they finally gave up and they switched off his lofe support machine.

Мои варианты:

1.

a)As well as causing a number of death, the hurricane caused a significant amount of chaos. This included the destruction of crops, houses and schools.

b) The death of people and destruction of residences and crops was due to a recent hurricane which caused chaos.

2

a)The doctors tried all night to save the man who had beed injured in motor-bike accident. They could not do so and therefore disconnected his life support machine.

b)A motor cyclist died in hospital despite repeated efforts by doctors to save his life.

Пожалуйста, посмотрите на счет ошибок. И если у вас есть варианты - напишите свои :-)

Предыдущее здание убрала под кат.[more]Это мое эссе по теме
Mark Twain wrote, "Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising" To what extent do you agree whith this comment?

While I was trying to figure out if I agree or disagree with the comment, Mark Twain’s quotation made me think about one particular word – it’s the word right .

He said, only the right kind of advertising can make a small thing large. Actually ,this is the key word for everything in this world. Whatever we do, say or even think, we are supposed to do it the right way. So what is the right way and how is it different from any other ways? What happens to all ads that are not right? How do right and wrong advertising influence people? Is it possible that the first one helps and the second one hinders society? If so, why are the wrong ads still made?

To answer these questions we need to think who makes up our society ? People of different ages, beliefs, races, education levels, needs, and interests are called society. What’s right for one could be wrong for others. What’s good for one group of people might be damaging for another. Can this be the reason why you can never decide what’s good or what’s bad for billions of different individuals put together in one group called society?...

The last and the most important question - is there something in this world that everybody at the same time would accept as right for themselves? People concern about money, love and their reputation. We can assume that advertising directed on those topics would touch everybody’s hearts and minds. But people beliefs and values change several times during their lives. Thus our theory of a perfectly targeted ad falls apart like a house made of cards.

However, advertisements are all around us no matter what we do. Advertising might help or bother us. It might influence us or simply make us laugh. It can be right for us or wrong for us : for me, for you, for each and every person in this world. We are individuals. We all have our own and unique opinion. Advertising will affect all of us differently at the same time.

So, generally I do agree with Mark Twain’s comment, though I would modify it a little so it would sound like this: “Many a small thing has been made large by the properly made and well-targeted advertising”

How does advertising help or hinder society?

Living in the modern world we all are used to advertisements and normally do not think much about effects that it has on us or if the world would be the same without it... Does advertising help or hinder society?

Some people say that advertising is increasingly invading public spaces. I’d have to agree with that. Yes, there is an enormous add on the top of a tall building that makes the night view of Hong Kong harbor look bright and modern. And, people actually buy tickets to ride a boat to enjoy this view.

Some say that advertising frequently uses psychological pressure on the intended customer, which may be harmful. I do not agree. If that would have been true during all those years of advertising history, we would all be mentally unstable and could not think rationally. But we are rational, logically thinking people ( well, most of us)

Some say that advertising makes products cost a lot more. I don’t think it works that way but even if it does – why do people buy a 1000$ well-advertised bag, but not a 100$ bag of a brand they never heard of? Are they just showing off or is there another reason? Of course, some of them are actually showing off, however the majority of people realize that they are not that rich to buy cheap and unknown goods that turn into trash in no time..

Some say that all those ads on TV are the way too long and noisy. I do not agree, I am sorry to tell you that there would be no TV at all without commercials. As well as no newspapers and no radio broadcastings.
What would the world be without any advertisings ? Would it be the same? Or would we still live in caves and hunt wild animals for food?

One good thing about the existence of advertising is actually its existence itself. It’s nice to realize that we live in a society where each and every person can have their own opinion and that nobody can ban them from thinking the way they do. As well as no one can ban advertising because it is equated with constitutionally guaranteed freedom of opinion and speech.

Как вам кажется, закончена ли мысль? нет ли стилистических и пунктуационных ошибок?